“Shut up, I’m learning by trial and error.”
“More error than trial.”
“That made no sense! You can’t have an error without a trial.”
Ryan and I, discussing his inability to throw darts with any semblance of accuracy or precision.

“I know that cat-like ‘woo woo’ noise, but I just can’t put my finger on it.”
William Veazey trying to name the theme song for the old Scrabble TV show

“‘Aroused man and flaccid boy.'”
Ryan Eanes reading the caption for a piece of pottery

“You’re attractive and sexy, William.”
(pause)
“Yeah, much in the same way a raw oyster is.”
Ashley trying to increase William’s self esteem and then me sending it hurtling to the ground

“I mean, you have ‘Boogles, the No Limit Soldja.’ Of course there’s something wrong with your hall.”
William Veazey describing the various wrong aspects of my residence hall

Personality Structure: A Multilayered Onion
A chapter sub-heading in a communication theory book

“When I came in your room, you were throwing up naked.”
“Did I have a boner?”
Conversation between two formerly drunk guys on the hall

“I could stand here and talk about feudalism while I dig around in my eyeball, but I’d just as soon not.”
Dr. Allen Michie having contact lens problems in the midst of lecture–he produced a small hand mirror from his briefcase, by far the most hilarious part of this whole situation

“A lot of people in Russia don’t even know that things are different anywhere else.”
Some dumb girl behind me in COM 246

“Sean is good. Everyone loves Sean.”
“You’re referring to yourself in the third person.”
“Is he?”
My roommate and I just moments ago