“…so, that little gremlin thing on the back of my neck is back.”
“::chuckle:: So, did you name it?”
Some random girls I passed

“So she comes in, sits down, picks up the controller, and proceeds to play with me.”
My roommate, talking on the phone to someone

“Death lingers in fragrance form for quite some time.”
William Veazey. I think I purposely blocked out what we were discussing at the time.

“Sometimes you just gotta ask yourself, ‘do I have an esophageal stricture?'”

“Ooo, I’m a freak of nature…”
“Just as long as you’ve come to that realization yourself, we’re in good shape.”
My roommate being perverse and then me insulting him

“It’s too bad… I bet I voided the warranty when I put in a network card and a CD burner.”
“Yeah. That and you just took the whole thing apart.”
Me and Andy Wood discussing my mom’s computer that just died

“Muu-muus are people for fat dresses.”
Me, failing miserably at correcting Ashley