Things We Heard (or Said) » Unfortunate Imagery

Ryan — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:58:52 +0000

“I loved his sweater, but I suspect I’d look like a poorly circumcised penis were I to try and wear it.”

William — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 01:12:19 +0000

“It’s not that bad. Her hair’s not falling out any more.”
Audrey Fowler

Ryan — Mon, 03 May 2010 20:26:45 +0000

“In any case, [she] is like a urine cake with sauerkraut filling and rotten crab frosting.”

Ryan — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 19:37:23 +0000

“He grabbed his penis and said, ‘Come over here. I want you to turn my shrimp into a lobster,’” according to court papers filed by 28-year-old Rosemarie Ferranti, who was presumably hired to wait tables, not transmogrify genitalia.
Gothamist

Ryan — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 16:07:37 +0000

“I’m uncertain how I feel about creamy wine product.”

Ryan — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 14:42:09 +0000

“You have moongina stuck in your head? Gross.”
Todd Wachsman

Ryan — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 20:00:12 +0000

“I just think it’s neat that you midgets are able to make chocolate.”
Some guy on The Little Chocolatiers, as quoted on The Soup

Ryan — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 16:57:25 +0000

“That sounds like some sort of institutional-sized box of frozen chins for cafeteria use.”

Ryan — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 05:07:10 +0000

“I feel lonely so often, like some homeless old lady that sits around a shelter doing jigsaw puzzles all day.”

Ryan — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:49:53 +0000

“Fire tits [are] an uncommon twist for a gay man’s dream.”
Todd Wachsman

Ryan — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 02:17:10 +0000

“What makes somebody go pick up poop and want to make a juice out of it?”
Damon John

Ryan — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 19:24:27 +0000

“Ugh. They don’t even have proper boobs, just nipplish droopage.”
Todd Wachsman’s observation about dogs’ “breasts”