“Keep in mind that when we say ‘elephant,’ we really mean ‘pot-bellied pig.’” Brian Wheeler
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Category Archives: Snippets
Friday, October 13, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
“I did do a similar newspaper column all through college. I basically discussed how things were stupid and how I hated them. People loved it.”
Sunday, August 13, 2006
“‘Sometimes I pee when I laugh.’ Oh, that is so true.” Becky, reading text on a pen at a gas station
Thursday, August 3, 2006
“…I’m beginning to think Richard Simmons should sue him for stealing his catchphrase.”
Friday, March 10, 2006
“The Gloria Estefan portion of the evening has concluded.”
Thursday, February 2, 2006
“Why does the world insist that I mayn’t have an orange gingham shirt?!”
Thursday, September 29, 2005
“You know, buttocks are never the answer for a book cover.”
Saturday, September 10, 2005
“I’m a little alarmed. Outside just now I heard what sounded like a mechanical elephant being put through a trash compactor.”
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
“Why do I have hairy soap in a bag?”
Monday, July 25, 2005
“Who would’ve thought that a ham quiche could be so deadly.”
Monday, July 18, 2005
“I can’t even think about Mexican food without my intestines cringing.”
Monday, July 18, 2005
“I did not ‘dismiss’ him. This is not a bad MTV program.”