Things We Heard (or Said) » Sass

William — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 01:45:47 +0000

“If you can accept that when you hit the ball, it goes, and it goes where you aim it, then golf is interesting.”
Otley Veazey

Ryan — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 13:17:33 +0000

Large black lady, looking at the produce section: Why ain’t they just got regular plain old apples? This be too many to pick from!
Half-interested friend: Mmm-hmm.
Atlantic Station Pathmark

Sharon — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 20:25:57 +0000

“It’s okay. You’re white, you’re supposed to like Journey.”
Tomarra

Sharon — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 20:24:09 +0000

“I know you end up with broccoli, but that really sounds like a drug deal.”
Tomarra, after hearing details of my CSA pickup

Ryan — Mon, 03 May 2010 20:26:45 +0000

“In any case, [she] is like a urine cake with sauerkraut filling and rotten crab frosting.”

Ryan — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 18:50:09 +0000

“Seeing hardcore Republicans watch Sarah Palin makes me think of lab rats that have been trained to push a button to get cocaine.”

Ryan — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 20:40:03 +0000

“This job is so frustrating, my wigs are turning gray!”

Ryan — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 17:50:40 +0000

“Someone took a laser to her chompin’ stones and done fixed ‘em up. Either that or she got dentures.”
Gawker

Ryan — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 07:15:27 +0000

“We’ve all had our own experiences. I worked in a singing diner, you were a French poodle.”

Ryan — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:34:24 +0000

“No one can be intimidating if they’re wearing a skinny piano tie.”

Sharon — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 18:53:48 +0000

“If your parents named you Britney, chances are they knew you had no chance of joining MENSA.”
Tomarra, on baby names

Ryan — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 21:08:59 +0000

“Thank you, but I don’t need to be lectured by a naked torso.”