Things We Heard (or Said) » Sarcasm-osity

Ryan — Wed, 05 May 2010 17:28:12 +0000

“Your dreams of warm rubbery stale bread and greasy questionable meat products have been answered!”
Grocery Eats (warning, language NSFW)

Sharon — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 20:44:22 +0000

“The latest season of MTV’s long-running program ended last night like a geriatric poodle falling down a flight of stairs.”
Gawker.com, on the season finale of MTV’s The Real World

Ryan — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 18:50:09 +0000

“Seeing hardcore Republicans watch Sarah Palin makes me think of lab rats that have been trained to push a button to get cocaine.”

Ryan — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 20:18:35 +0000

“I think the Darwinosaurus got him.”
Eric Dietrich on a 6-year-boy that ostensibly commandeered a helium weather balloon and then vanished

Ryan — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 04:17:23 +0000

“Many a person will tell you that I rival the entertainment value of unsalted butter on Wonderbread toast.”

Ryan — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:51:42 +0000

“People are saying, ‘Geez, this isn’t Star Trek yet, this is just pants that don’t stain,’ but you’ve got to start somewhere,” said Howard Lovy, news editor of the nanotech industry journal Small Times. “I’m wearing nano-pants as we speak.”
Contributed by Mark

Ryan — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 03:54:35 +0000

“I’m pretty sure I speak for the universe when I say that no one should have a ‘cheese spreadsheet.’”

Sharon — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 19:29:25 +0000

“Going skiing during a move is like playing Russian Roulette with the Universe.”

Ryan — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 07:09:12 +0000

“What about a beheaded half-torso doesn’t appeal to you?”

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Ryan — Sun, 17 Nov 2002 09:04:11 +0000

Ryan: “I’ve changed my mind. I’ve decided to order their world-famous egg platter.”
William: “They have that here?”
Ryan: “No. I just made it up.”

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William — Fri, 20 Sep 2002 02:53:09 +0000

Amanda: “Why do you judge people so much? You’re not God! Remember in the Bible where it says ‘Thou shalt not judge’?”
Me: “I believe it says ‘Judge not, lest ye be judged.’”
Amanda: “Well, whatever, I haven’t read the Bible.”
Sad, isn’t it? I live with this every day.