“Now the person running this ancient land-phallus [Italy] is a naked orange clown who spends all of his time ringleading orgies with young non-wife girls or fiddling around with the roster of the soccer team he randomly owns.” Wonkette
“If we don’t feel stupid it means we’re not really trying.” Martin A. Schwartz
“I always figured it had more to do with fucked up international policies and dumbassery along the lines of changing french fries to freedom fries just to NEENER NEENER at foreign dignitaries.” lulugirl.livejournal.com, in a thread on sf_drama
“He’s starting to look more and more like a woman’s softball coach who’s ‘in transition.’” A New York Magazine website commenter describing Eminem
“…there’s nothing like the image of a tiny foot covered in blood and uterine juices to spice up a ham sandwich.” Dooce
“And then there are those sugary grains. Sugary grains dumped in a bowl of udder excrement. Would you eat something resembling my friend’s son spit up?” Endless Simmer’s opinion on cereal
“That low rumble you felt in your loins this morning wasn’t the D train beneath you, headed north to Fordham. No, it was a subconscious reaction to the news that Zac Efron, a young and brave ambassador from the Elf kingdoms of the West, has been cast in yet another movie.” Defamer
“Upside-down peen is funny, not sexy.” Random chick on the internet
Honestly, if you’re given the choice between Armageddon or tea, you don’t say “what kind of tea?” Neil Gaiman, on Twitter
“This is the second time in our relationship you have poisoned me.” Twitter user @ma_bo, discussing Taco Bell
“I don’t mean to boast, but I’m right.” Garnett Lee on “Cranky Geeks“
“You know who the Jonas Brothers are, right? They’re the pro-Christian moptop rockadoo savin’ it boyband from New Jersey who have set thousands of adolescent lady (and some gent) loins into exciting first tinglings.” Gawker