“If you see a van with a dinosaur smoking a joint on the side, you should get in that van.”
Ron Funches

I dunno. I’ve farted in bed lots of times, and it never made a pizza cake…”
William Veazey

“That logo? It’s phallic and vaginal at the same time.”
Joe Bastianich

“Lobsters pee out of their faces. Peeing at each other is part of both fighting and courtship.”

“Love is like a fart… if you have to push, it’s probably s**t.”
Seen on a sign

“Iā€™m ashamed to admit that some scenes ā€” like the long montage of squirting breasts set to opera music ā€” still felt totally graphic to me.”
From a New York Magazine interview with documentarians

“I was terrified that a shart-icane could trigger a piss-valanche and I’d be remembered for all the wrong reasons… the wrongest reasons.”

I aggressively blow out my candle on my wife every couple of days. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.