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“The unpredicable nature of their movements, the scuttling, and the whole vampire mouse blood-sucking phenomena.”
Anna doesn’t like mice

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“Would you be hot and sweat for me while I do this?”
Bob asking Glenn about… something I dont want to know

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“Do not be alarmed at sudden loud jet engine noise”
A sign on the highway right outside of Offutt Air Force Base

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“I don’t need to go, you know why? Because I have cobblestone abs.”
Adam discussing why he doesn’t need to join a rock-climbing club

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“Your favorite restaurant has always been Lord Wellington’s Beef Trapeze.”
“Oh… it sounds pretty good.”
The Brak Show

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“You could carry around the stick to protect yourself from someone who wouldn’t tickle you.”
Beth at dinner

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“I’m not big boobed. I’m not sex-crazed. I’m not an alcoholic (yet). And while I am a good paint penner, It’s not my top priority.”
Lauren, discussing why she is an unusual sorority girl

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“This isn’t retail, honey. This is show business.”
Bradley, one of our Late Show recruiters