“‘G’ as in ‘gonads.'”
My idiot roommate

“Basically all I know is that in class tomorrow I can talk about boobs and semen and I’ll be in good shape.”

“So she comes in, sits down, picks up the controller, and proceeds to play with me.”
My roommate, talking on the phone to someone

“Sometimes you just gotta ask yourself, ‘do I have an esophageal stricture?'”