Laura: She dresses like a slut.
Ryan: You’re just jealous because you don’t have big boobs.
Laura: I don’t want big boobs.

“If this is not a sexual ad, then I’m Chinese. ”
Wayne King, journalism professor

“If that had been any funnier, it might have actually been funny.”
Me informing William that his joke was not funny at all

“Ooo, I’m a freak of nature…”
“Just as long as you’ve come to that realization yourself, we’re in good shape.”
My roommate being perverse and then me insulting him

“You’re attractive and sexy, William.”
(pause)
“Yeah, much in the same way a raw oyster is.”
Ashley trying to increase William’s self esteem and then me sending it hurtling to the ground