My mom has figured out how to make a chicken soup with cabbage in it that doesn’t taste like Victorian nihilism.”
William Veazey

Lisa: But… we sang Gershwin together!
Sideshow Bob: Well, “Rhapsody in Boo-Hoo.”
The Simpsons

“No one says ‘hold them in a bra formation.’ You just made that up on the spot, didn’t you. You did.”
William Veazey chastising me for attempting to describe a position

“I’m gonna eat you like an M&M. Except you’re not filled with chocolate.”
“Well….”
“EW!”

“Watching ‘Good Day New York’ and noticing anyone but Greg Kelly is like visiting Michelangelo’s ‘David’ and trying not to look at anything but the penis.”
Joel McHale on The Soup

“They call her the ‘bra whisperer.’ I guess my breasts didn’t speak loudly enough.”
A friend expressing her displeasure with a local bra fitter

“Maybe it’s just me, but when I’m getting a little mid-morning buzz, the last thing I want is Jesus looking down at me from… well… everywhere.”
Anthony Bourdain

“…they’ve dubbed over the crone-like shrieks of those two old biddies with a boring song performed by a gentleman who is talented only in a ‘church choir director lets him sing a solo every couple of months’ sort of way.”

I once dated a man who wrote me poetry on perfume-scented tear-stained paper so, yes, you could say I’ve had a lesbian experience.
@fluffysuse on Twitter