“You see a rockstar. I still see the dorky kid who ran face-first into a glass door at my 13th birthday party.”
Kate, on celebrities

“I hate it when I get soup and it’s not oily enough.”
Shayla Magee

“Your dreams of warm rubbery stale bread and greasy questionable meat products have been answered!”
Grocery Eats (warning, language NSFW)

“The latest season of MTV’s long-running program ended last night like a geriatric poodle falling down a flight of stairs.”
Gawker.com, on the season finale of MTV’s The Real World

“Seeing hardcore Republicans watch Sarah Palin makes me think of lab rats that have been trained to push a button to get cocaine.”

“Many a person will tell you that I rival the entertainment value of unsalted butter on Wonderbread toast.”

“People are saying, ‘Geez, this isn’t Star Trek yet, this is just pants that don’t stain,’ but you’ve got to start somewhere,” said Howard Lovy, news editor of the nanotech industry journal Small Times. “I’m wearing nano-pants as we speak.”
Contributed by Mark

“I’m pretty sure I speak for the universe when I say that no one should have a ‘cheese spreadsheet.'”

“Going skiing during a move is like playing Russian Roulette with the Universe.”