“Um. Are you naked and wearing an oven mitt?”
Molly Wood, CNet personality and technology pundit, to her son.

“Guys, when you get sick, does your tongue get weird?”

British tourist girl:  Do you offer any sort of vegetarian fare?
Hispanic Jack in the Box cashier:  Wha?
British tourist girl:  Vegetarian fare? Do you offer any?
Hispanic Jack in the Box cashier: (shakes her head in befuddlement)
British tourist girl:  Do you… OFF-ah… any… SORT… of… veg-eh-TARE-ee-an FARE?
Hispanic Jack in the Box cashier:  I no… (shakes her head confusedly)
At a Jack in the Box in Los Angeles on Santa Monica Boulevard


“Technically speaking, is gravy a member of the sauce family? Or is sauce a subset of gravy?”
David Letterman


“Will you be renting an apartment, or just buying vegetables?”
Dana asking Donna about her upcoming mission trip


“Shouldn’t his girlfriend be next on the list…or maybe Jesus?”
Ryan, in a moment of…something


“Do peoples’ cars really get cut in half by a chainsaw on a regular basis, and is snorting coke off of hookers’ boobs really that common? I’d certainly never heard of it.”