“He’s got permanent duck lips.”
“Yeah, but he’s got a nice skin color, though.”

I dunno. I’ve farted in bed lots of times, and it never made a pizza cake…”
William Veazey

“Lifetime’s severely low-end Brittany Murphy biopic, The Brittany Murphy Story, airs September 6, and these clips from it do not look encouraging. In fact, they look horrendous. There are amateur pornos made at a higher quality. There are Chihuahuas wearing better, more believable wigs. Simply holding a paper cutout of Brittany Murphy’s face on a Popsicle stick up to one’s face would be more lifelike.”
From a Vulture blog post

“Oh dear. I see swirling boob tassels in your near future.”

My mom has figured out how to make a chicken soup with cabbage in it that doesn’t taste like Victorian nihilism.”
William Veazey

“Iā€™m ashamed to admit that some scenes ā€” like the long montage of squirting breasts set to opera music ā€” still felt totally graphic to me.”
From a New York Magazine interview with documentarians

“A goose biting you is not a little pinch… they have teeth. It’s like a dinosaur is biting you.”
Student walking on campus

“This tastes like a soda that was frightened, and it looks like a Mountain Dew that pissed itself.”
An attempt to describe a frightening-tasting and disturbingly-colored energy beverage

“Little did I know that a dog butt could be used as a puppet.”

“Nothing says fancy quite like pickled fruit!”
Casey Eanes