“I wish you were a boy and I was a boy and I could be your boyfriend.”
Audrey Fowler

“That is because of my professional experience and knowledge as an alcohol.”

“Man, you’re cranky today… I know which of the Seven Dwarfs you are–Bashful!”
As said by Marshall R.; contributed by Samantha M.

“‘Salary rosters’ sounds like an extremely typo-imbued appetizer at Ruby Tuesday.”

“I was unaware that healthful cereals were able to play card games.”

“I feel so artistic!  Gosh, I have so many ideas, I could just… pee!”
Jack on Will & Grace

“All dis holiday cheer ’bout to ‘cheer’ me off, if you get what I’m sayin’…”
Crazy barista at Starbucks on 47th & 6th


“Kinda like Martha Stewart telling you how easy it is to whip up a few personalized ottomans for your Thanksgiving guests.”