“Lobsters pee out of their faces. Peeing at each other is part of both fighting and courtship.”

“I’m ashamed to admit that some scenes — like the long montage of squirting breasts set to opera music — still felt totally graphic to me.”
From a New York Magazine interview with documentarians

“…and I hate… I mean, I hate Kevin Costner and his stupid f***ing face…”
A random girl walking by my front window

“Well, you know, penises don’t… ejaculate all the time.”
A student talking to another about something I don’t want to know about

“Little did I know that a dog butt could be used as a puppet.”

“I cringe at the thought of biting into a crispy face.”

I aggressively blow out my candle on my wife every couple of days. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

“So you’re suggesting a shiba inu dragging a monkey around in a homemade rocking chair chariot? That can only end in disaster and blood-curdling screams.”