“I assure you that that [sign] does not say ‘Poot & Smile.'”

“We’ve had a bit of a situation here, but we’ve located a place that has New England clam chowder.”
An assistant on the phone responding to the boss’ query about his lunch

“That begs the question: Do snakes have genitals?”
Joe Muto

“What are those weird Dr. Seuss flowers over there?”
“It’s an orchid.”

“What time were you thinking [about leaving tomorrow] so I know (a) how much to drink today in order to estimate (b) when I’ll black out? I want to be well-rested.”

“A sand horse! The car of the desert!”
Homer Simpson, upon seeing a camel

“A gorilla doing sign language is plausible, but a gorilla maintaining a website is just shocking.”

“I really don’t like this new hand sanitizer. It tastes disgusting.”

“…and there you have our little chicken corn witch face.”
Martha Stewart

“The Europeans brought small pots to the Native Americans.”
A sentence in an intro-level college history student’s essay.