“Can I say the word ‘areola’ on camera? Do you know what an areola is?”

“When you’re done with what you’re doing, can you bring a vacuum to my office? …and some Velcro.”
Overheard in the office 

“You know, I suck. I suck every ball in the world.”
Trish Monte 

“I’m always asking chicks if they want breast massages.”
Victor Garcia

“Why were you eating ice cream in a Dunkin’ Donuts bathroom?”

“They’re trying to wrestle it away from me, but god-f—ing-dammit, I am going to be calm as Hindu cows even if I have to burn this whole f—ing building down.”
A friend on her day at work

“The Bible, Star Trek: The Next Generation–same thing.”
Victor Garcia

“It was one of the most disgusting and yet intriguing moments in cinema–a snake crapping all over someone.”
Victor Garcia

“All they’ve got down there [in Brazil] is a giant statue of Jesus, and that doesn’t impress me.”
Victor Garcia