Old Woman: I need to go to the bathroom…
Nurse: Number one, or number two?
Old Woman: Number two…
Nurse: OK, let me get a bed pan.
There is a pause and some rustling noises.
Nurse: You’re already messy back here.
Old Woman: …I didn’t do it.
My question would’ve been, “So, then who DID sneak into your pants and take a dump?”